Funny Baby Quotes

Here's a collection of funny baby quotes to brighten your day. 

It's not always easy with a newborn in the house and having a new baby or kids is not always fun. I know that first-hand... Here are funny sayings about newborn babies, parenting and family life. Babies and children bring joy and laughter to our lives, so enjoy the journey of parenthood.

newborn baby sleeping in a hospital cod - with funny baby quote about sleepingfunny baby quote by Leo Burke

Funny Baby Quotes For New Parents:

A perfect example of minority rule is a baby in the house.  (Milwaukee Journal)

A child enters your home and for the next twenty years makes so much noise you can hardly stand it. The child departs, leaving the house so silent you think you are going mad. (John Andrew Holmes)

Insomnia: A contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents.  (Shannon Fife)

A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be. (unknown)

The art of being a parent is to sleep when baby is not looking. (unknown)

Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other. (Ed Howe)

dad and baby daughter making fun with daddy & girl quoteI love Daddy!

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. (Franklin P. Jones)

When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'.  (Bruce Lansky)

Before I got married I had six theories about raising children. Now, I have six children and no theories. (John Wilmot)  

The only things kids wear out faster than their shoes are their parents. (John J. Plomp)

24/7. Once you sign on to be a mother, that's the only shift they offer. (Jodi Picoult)

The hardest part of raising a child is having to stick to all these rules yourself! (unknown)

Sleep when your baby sleeps. Everyone knows this. It's like saying, 'Solve world hunger during lunch.' (Erma Bombeck)

Sleep when your baby sleeps, everyone knows this classic tip. What they don't tell you is that your baby sleeps for 20 minutes. A day.

Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannise their teachers (Sokrates) ... but just a little toothless smile and mummy and daddy are happy!

If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time", you are the grandma! (Teresa Bloomingdale)

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. (Alice Roosevelt Longworth)

Babies are like little scientists, conducting experiments on your patience and your sanity. (unknown)

Inspirational quotes for babies.

More Funny Baby Quotes And Sayings:

Babies are always more trouble than you thought - and more wonderful. (Charles Osgood)

Starting today, it is me who'll decide when we get up! - baby

People who say, they sleep like a baby, usually don't have one.  (Leo Burke)

Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough.  (Wilhelm Busch)

Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. (Carol Burnett)

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. (Mark Twain)

A conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. (unknown)

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. (Jerry Seinfeld)

There's this girl who stole my heart... She calls me Daddy! (unknown)

Life doesn't get more real than having a newborn at home. (Eric Church)

I have given up single-life and have moved to a shared apartment - I like it there! - baby

Today I have given notice on my studio apartment and have moved in with my parents. - baby  

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me. But I think she enjoyed it. (Mark Twain)

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised moment than most people can do all day...

Diapers and politicians should be changed often, and for the same reason. (Mark Twain)

painted template with baby items and funny baby quote about pacifiersfunny newborn quote

Parenting without a sense of humor is like being an accountant who sucks at math. (unknown)

Your home has just been enlarged... by 2 feet. (unknown)

Good moms have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles, dirty ovens and happy kids. (unknown)

My fingers may be small, but I've got daddy (mom, my parents) wrapped around them. (unknown)

There is only one pretty child in the world - and every mother has it! (Chinese proverb)

Congratulations on your new alarm clock!

Having a new baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst room mate. (Anne Lamott)

Although there are many trial marriages there is no such thing as a trial child. (Gail Sheehy)

For a little sister or brother:

In the cookies of life, sisters / brothers are the chocolate chips. (unknown)


toddler girl cautiously holding and kissing her newborn sister with siblings quotethis is love...

Use These Humorous Newborn Quotes And Messages For:

These hilarious new baby sayings are great to use in funny baby congratulations cards and also as funny baby shower card messages. They will make the new parents smile and you can write them together with some personal sentences for the new family.

New parents might like to have a funny quote as a funny baby announcement message. For example "We used to have time, now we have a baby!".

New moms and dads can also have these funny baby card messages in a photo album or in a family scrapbook. And many of these funny quotes about babies make nice nursery wall art, too. 

You used to habe time. Now you have twins? Here are

Funny Baby Quotes For Twins

sleeping baby and funny baby quote about insomniainsomnia...



more baby sayings and quotes

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